Can a school counsellor promise to keep a secret?

No. A school counsellor should never promise secrecy. Confidentiality has limits: risk of harm to the student or others, and situations where the law or school protocol requires reporting.

Is confidentiality guaranteed in group counselling?

No. The counsellor keeps what members share private but cannot guarantee what other members repeat, so agree ground rules together at the start.

Counseld › Resources › First-year guide › Confidentiality

1Stage 1: Settle and learn

Explaining confidentiality to students

Q: How do I explain confidentiality to a student?

Before sessions begin, explain in age-appropriate words that what they share stays private unless you are worried someone could get hurt, or the law or school protocol requires you to report. Never promise secrecy, ask them to say it back in their own words, and tell them first if you ever must share.

Updated 2026-10-21 · By Meera Manikandan, Counselling Psychologist, Counseld

In shortExplain confidentiality before sessions begin, in words matched to the student’s age: what they share stays private unless someone could get hurt, or the law or school protocol requires you to report. Never promise secrecy, check the student understood, and tell them before you share anything.

Before you begin sessions, tell students how confidentiality works, in words they can understand.

Evidence check ASCA’s ethical standards say counsellors should explain the limits of confidentiality in words the student understands. They note that informed consent can be hard to obtain at some ages, that confidentiality in groups cannot be guaranteed, and suggest recording how you explained the limits.

Sample wording by age

From practice Adapt this wording to your own voice and school.

Age band	Sample wording
Pre-primary – Gr 2	“This is a safe room to play and talk. What you tell me stays here, unless I am worried that you or someone else could get hurt. Then I will get a grown-up to help.”
Grades 3–5	“What we talk about is private. I don’t share it with your teachers or family without telling you first. The only time I must tell someone is if I think you or someone else is in danger. I will always tell you before I do.”
Grades 6–8	“Our conversations are private. The exceptions are safety: if you might hurt yourself, someone might hurt you, or you might hurt someone else, I need to involve other adults. If that happens, I’ll tell you who and why, and we’ll plan it together where possible.”
Grades 9–12	“What you share stays between us, with a few exceptions: serious risk to your safety or someone else’s, and situations where the law or school protocol requires me to report. I’ll be upfront if I ever need to do that. In group sessions I can’t guarantee what other members repeat, so let’s agree on ground rules.”

Making it stick

Say it early, say it again

At the first session, and whenever a conversation turns serious.

Check they understood

Ask the student to say it back in their own words.

Set group rules together

“I keep what you share private, but I can’t stop others repeating it. Let’s keep it in this room.”

Tell them first

If you must share, tell the student who and why before you do.

Counseld Starter Toolkit · Not a substitute for supervision or school policy.

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